benny's twitfic story hour

This is a special post as a "hosting" spot for a twit-fic story written by benny.  I did not write this. 

(sorry for the crazy formatting. People wanted it done quickly & deal with the mess later. Much like a shag with benny would be, I would guess. Cheers!)

CHAPTER  1

 i'll talk to myself again.

better yet, ill do a bum monologue.

hello bum. how is your smooth apple self today?

how is the twin cheek? smooth? don't tell but i think you have smoother skin.

and your curve is more set.

although other cheek is more polite.

it moves to the side when wind of fart is coming. makes way, you know.

sorry bum cheek 1. attention whore issues.

bum cheek 2, when fake patty bit you, did you acquire rabies? because you were slightly edgy when i put on my trousers.

and how's your backdoor neighbor? still big and strong?

what? he played hide and seek?!

how?!

oh he hid into a hole and then?.. uhuh... ic...peaked in and out of it!?... *gasp*

and there was noise?! what noise?

flapping sobs and skin clapping noises?! *uhhhwhuuat?*

how did his twins handle it?!

they were bouncing in glee? *rofl*

and then what happened?!

uhuh..

ic..

yes..

oos and aas..?

"more.. more.." ?

gasp!

a volcano erupted?!!!

white lava of life?!? *lmao*

the end? awe man!

was this thing that this hole.. err.. was connected to.. was it hot?!

no?!

*big gasp!*

...

err.. Bert.. err.. that white stain beneath the seams of your beanie?.. yes.. is not milkshake after all.

bum cheeks say there were no shoe laces involved. just soft spongy wool. absorbed white lava of life immediately.

 i think beanbean is pregnant.

 

 starting chapter 2.

Hi big ben!

How are you today?

Lonely?

Yeah me too. I have no hole to shag. i mean beanie. I dont have a beanie to shag. he's on fake robs head. thats not going to look good.

you fancy zac efron? GASP! big ben, that is a wrong choice of man!

big ben, why does hunker call you george bush?

MY BUSH IS NOT NAMED GEORGE!

well you should tell him that. i like calling my bush OBAMA.

Yes. I also prefer calling it Hillary

No? why not?

So what if Bill shagged Monica?

Oh right! the crabs.

So if Bill shagged crab queen and he also shagged hillary, and i'll call my bush hillary.....that means....

..hmm....

my bush is named sebastian. of little mermaid! perfect!

how about flounder?

too gay, agree.

big ben, i think i just found hunker's bush name!

faketom: meet FLOUNDER. your bush.

i agree. it fits him.

yes yes. flounder (the bush) is fat.

but flounder has a little tail (dick)

hunker also has a little tail (dick)

and likes mermaids.

or mermen...

why do you think he likes old greg so much big ben. duh?

Flounder's best friend is called...hmm??

(pay attention, big ben is my dick and we're talking here, shush)

i think big ben my man, we should try to figure out greasy's bush name.

do you think he's like.. err..

big or small? medium? droopy?

droopy!

i think it's droopy. droopy would be perfect.

why droopy? hmm...

because... it droops a lot? duh.

 

chapter 3.

Hello bigben (my dick)! hello sebastian (my bush)!

Still bushy, i see. like fakeRobs hair... I know... He copied his hairdo from your style and design.

What's that bigben?.... oh you miss beanie?... well. i think "it" is pregnant. so, no banging "it" for 9 months.

But i think fabrics multiply rather quickly, so I'm thinking you may not miss "it" that long enough.

Huh? Speak louder, sebastian.... uhuh... bigben wants to rock the boat? *gasp!*

but flounder (faketom's bush) and his little tail (faketom's dick) are already rocking the boat as we tweet... i hope it sinks soon.

Yeah yeah bigben. I know your shaft is getting restless. Such a massive and carnal libido you have *wink*

Hmm.. let me see.. will you enjoy Nike Shoes, instead? "It" has pretty sexy shoelaces. ehe. in black!

Plus, bigben my man, i mean dick... I believe she always says YES. Remember what my math teacher said in highschool?

Yes. That check marks also means YES. YES. AND YES.

Let me see if Nike Shoes still has checks. Maybe "it" signed new contract with Adidas... Shoes are very dirty things. Lucky dog you!

i'll out on some music for you bigben. KOL's "USE SOMEBODY"... perfect.

Yes sebastian, feel free to substitute the lyrics from "USE SOMEBODY" to "USE SOME NI-KEE" whatever makes you bushier.

And yes, you are combed well already, like Dali's mustache.

.......A FEW HOURS LATER..........

wait make that 24hours to be exact. ehe.. yes my honeys.. bigben is an all-nighter. *slow mo' wink*

24 great hours later.. in the shower..

stop whining bigben... cold water will only make you wrinkle for a little bit. i ddnt even scrub you hard for your convenience.

yes cold water shrinks you too, but you will grow back. you do grow quickly like Renesmee. seconds speed.. hi 5!

Plus.. you also harden as quickly and as solid as Edward... oh... wait... mm...

No, not Edward.. must be honest. i think Jacob is leaner.. AND BIG-GER.

Jacob and Renesmee, i believe (as Bert said) WILL shag each other i think, when the dawn breaks in vampire world.

who is Renesmee, you ask? I think she or it. is the demon child. a product from the movie Bert's perverted loins.

i agree Sebastian. lol! the holy pinkish trinity he has in between his legs always result to behemoth disasters.. i mean..

look how Patty looks like.. i think her mum is stuffed toy.. yes the panda... i pity the mutt.

Don't get mas Sebastian.. greasy was only acting. as he is good at it. pfffff (not)

but of course! Bert does not love another breed of bushes."weed queen" does not make her a shrub. twitter fakers js make her look like 1.

you will always be king of bushes...

(sebastian tends to be very sensitive with our friend cake because she gave him 2 in one shampoo: conditions and disinfects) fancy shit.

not that sebastian needs it though. his luster is always top grade.

oh wait... i did just shag a shoe.. fake rob's shoe.. and i did not scrub enough when i showered.

*mutha!* i take my tweet back! if beanie carries an entire plague of grossness, imagine his shoes!

jesus nemo and mickey! i DO NOT (i repeat) DO NOT want to have ATHLETE'S DICK. euw...

chapter 4.

chapter quatro (4, stupid) is just me and my briefs. dancing to pussycat dolls. loosen up my buttons benneh! ohyeh.

*bows!*